


He loved

by pimpmickey



Series: cleaning out my closet [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 08:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6072214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pimpmickey/pseuds/pimpmickey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Mickey wasn't a saint, that's for fuckin' sure-" the room let out weak laughs, "but he tried. Fuck, did he try... He tried to give the world his love and all the world did was shove it to the ground and laugh in his face."</p>
            </blockquote>





	He loved

His skin was cold, blood drained from his body, his face with permanent bruises on them that Ian just wanted to kiss. He reached forward, cupping the other man's cheek and stroking it. Ian moved a falling piece of his hair that had fallen on his forehead, choking at a sob at the remembrance of his hands running through the soft hair.

This was Ian's fault, no matter how many times Mandy, or Lip, or even Fiona told him it wasn't. If only he had done something, if only he had helped Mickey when Sammi came after him, if only he had been there for him when he needed him.

But it's too late for that now. It's too late for apologizes, too late to help, and too late to say I love you.

"I knew Mickey more than anyone."

He said, to the room full of about ten people who actually cared to show.

"I knew what Mickey's skin felt like, I knew what his cries sounded like, I knew more than anything what his love did."

He choked back on a sob.

"Mickey _wasn't_ a saint, that's for fuckin' sure-" the room let out weak laughs, "but he tried. Fuck, did he try... He tried to give the world his love and all the world did was shove it to the ground and laugh in his face."

He clawed at the wooden podium.

"Mickey's love was unusual. His love was violent and scary, but then it wasn't. It became soft as a bird in the hands of bear and brightening as the sun in the middle of July. "

He scoffed.

"But, me? I ruined it. I ruined him. I put him through pure fuckin' torture and all he did was love me in return. I, I could not see this but he tried to get me to feel this. He wanted me to feel his love when he looked at me or when he whispered my name or even when he broke my nose."

A tear ran down his cheek.

"He didn't deserve this! He deserved none of this! Mickey Milkovich deserved the fuckin' world and all the world did was hurt him. Mickey was better than you and me."

He clutched onto the podium to keep himself from falling.

"I loved him, God, did I love him... It's too late to tell him but I hope he knows, that where ever he is, that I fuckin' loved him more than he will ever know. And I'm so fuckin' sorry that I didn't tell him sooner, that I treated him like shit and made him feel like he wasn't worth it because believe me, he's worth it."

He stepped down, sending one last glance at the open coffin before he walked out the door. 


End file.
